Yesterday, I learned that every thing / one deserves a second look.

Dear Mom,

Yesterday, I learned that every thing and every person in my life often requires and deserves a second look. In my relationship, at the present, there is a bit of an underlying rough patch and in this rarest of cases...other "parties" are involved. Operating in my usual survival mode, I cut everyone out of my little "steel box" of a heart and holed up emotionally. For whatever reason, I decided to take a second and third look at ALL parties involved in this current rough patch and considered a few things: why they were involved? should they be involved? and how did I feel, not how should I feel, about the fact that my relationship rough patch has been impacted by people outside of the relationship. This surprisingly liberating thinking and self-awareness spree lead me to a healthy state of mind and a healthy emotional place as well.
Yesterday, I learned that if I do not take care of me, I cannot take care of, or attempt to take care of, the world and the people in it. I am often worrying about and helping even catering to others. I haven't been in in tip-top shape (have had this cold for a while...mostly limited chest congestion now though, its on its way out!) and that coupled with my emotional rocky road has left me, on the inside, in less than stellar condition. During my morning workout at bootcamp I had to simply let go and give into my own needs to heal. I went home took vitamins, medicine, and a nap. I then went about my day, per usual and landed on my thinking spree. Today has been a much better, more fulfilling, productive and brighter day. I've learned my lesson. I hope...

I miss you. I love you. Keep watch over me!

Love
Ashley