Dear Mom,
Today I am sick. Cerrita has been sick for day days, and spent the yesterday intermittently loosing her stomach. Gross. Sorry, but still! She is a trooper and has somehow managed to get out of bed and work for 12+ hrs a day. This morning I must have sounded and looked how I felt because the instant that I hear my usual week day morning greeting (Cerrita is a goober and loves to wake me up with over the top nicknames like puddin', sunshine, buttercup, and the like because she knows how much I have mornings and would rather make me laugh / disarm any potential grumpiness) and I heard "oh, you've got it now" from my love. NOT AWESOME. So....my day has since proceeded as such:
Drive car back home after dropping off Cerrita. Forcing eyes awake and air in and out of lungs through any acceptable passage way. Sip coffee, watch weather, whine to Cerrita about how I am feeling. Take a blazing how shower (Cerrita's advice) and clear the above mentioned passageways only to feel light headed and not a bit better. Sleep until 8am. Put on sports bra and kicks and head to tri-weekly bootcamp. Worrying if I will make it there let alone make it through the 45 min workout. Sudden burst of energy as I finish some gum and water. (not olympic burst but still an "i'm a wake holy shit, let's do this" burst). I get through the work out! I feel ok leaving, not wiped, but damn near exhausted enough. I call Cerrita. update. She is still getting sick at work. Expects me to be happy it was only once. Not happy. I worry about her more than myself even when i've recently contracted her plague. Yes. this is a plague. No, mom, this is not over-dramatics from skating leaping into and infesting my real life :) OK a little. but aghhhhh. I can't help it.
My head feels like a ton of bricks, my jaw is sore, my lips are cracking from the Hey Arnold style breathing, and my body feels like a bruised Georgia peach all over. In an effort to to find some comfort 9while still sticking to my workout / diet regimen) I grabbed a popsicle from the freezer. I had purchased them for Cerrita the night prior when she was loosing everything and about ready to loose some major organs next. The flavor I grabbed without looking was root beer and I instantly, and aways, think of you. I still remember vividly the night before and the morning after my first ever major surgery for the removal of my tonsils and adenoids. I was 3. You were an RN. It was two days before christmas. You couldn't watch them stick me with the needle for my fluids because you knew how much it hurt me. I couldn't let go of your hand. You became a nurse for second on top of being my mom and talked me through the next part because this was the part where "Mom can't go through those doors, but I know the secret of what they do, so this is what is going to happen" and toldme about everything from sleeping gas, to how to help the doctors roll me onto the operating table and how the best patients keep a smile on even when they are scared. I did it all and I came out just fine. Save being quite sore. You were as worried as you'd be if i had just had heart surgery. You said I could have anything i wanted to make my throat feel better. I requested "root beer popsicles." On the ride home we stopped at the store. At home I opened my very own, all root beer flavored, box of popsicles. Ate one...maybe two. and feel asleep. Now that I'm 24, and not three, I'll have you know that you are STILL a very large part of my life, whether or not I choose to share these memories out loud. This one is a favorite. We were both pretty cute, charming, and sweet.
I miss you. I love you. Keep an eye one me.
Love,
Ashley
Monday, January 30, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Soup Kitchen: Day 1
Dear Mom,
Today I worked at the local soup kitchen. I have been wanting to make good use of my free time during the week AND do something that bettered the local community. Ok, so I tried the Boys and Girls Club first, but they are harder to volunteer for than getting a Jonas brother to give up his purity ring. I was dismayed, I love to work and hang with kids of all ages, but after my experience at the Soup Kitchen, I don't think I was ever meant for the Boys and Girls Club.
On Wednesday, I made my way down to the Catholic Charities Soup Kitchen (located right in the heart of downtown Colorado Springs!) and filled out paper work and signed up for my first ever shift. The next day, Thursday, I showed up early for my 10am - 2pm shift. I was immediately greeted by a number of people who were more than happy to help, playful, and welcoming. I was new and feeling nervous simply because I didn't want to make things difficult for the veteran workers and volunteers while I learned the ins and outs of the operation. Wow! And, what a large operation it was to behold. I was impressed by the magnitude of the kitchen, the systems in place for maximum efficiency, and the large number of people working / running around. I was depressed by the fact that the Soup Kitchen needed to be that large in the first place. Colorado Springs, overall, is a fairly affluent city and seeing the constant large number of people come in the door and get in line, for what was most likely their only meal of the day, was upsetting to me. Nonetheless, I was happy to be helping and kept my thoughts and concerns about local and national society to myself and worked diligently with a smile on the whole time.
My job was to take, well actually to "run," the freshly cleaned dishes, cups, bowls, dessert plates, spoons (forks and knives aren't allowed...they're weapons in waiting) and tray back out to where the servers can re-use them for the next patron. I went home soaked from sweat, clean dishwater, and surprise upright mugs of water. I made a few friends: Merle, Charles, Greg, and Tom...oh! and "big chef" as I secretly called him...never did catch his name. Whoops!I Promise to learn it next week.
I am looking forward to going back next week. it is my hope that I get to know the volunteer regulars and the Soup Kitchen patron regulars. I've long struggled with the issue of homelessness in this country on both the macro and the micro scales. When I see a person in the street, on the curb, in a park, etc. I instantly start thinking about a number of things. Who were you before this? What lead you here? What have you tried to resolve your situation? What is it you really need / want? Where is your family? Friends? Did you lead yourself here? Did society fail you? Forget you? What are your days like? What do you think of me? I'm never sure of my own emotions or convictions in that singular moment where you unexpectedly meet someone you've had such strong convictions about when not faced with that very human face.
The one thing that I was the least prepared for was the number of children, young families, and veterans. Stereotypically in our society (film, television, mass culture etc) homeless folks are portrayed as some ratty, lazy, drunkard bum. I won't claim to be exempt from having any stereotype image in my head, but I am far from out of touch with reality. Or so I thought. Social injustice takes on many forms; whenever children are involved it immediately take top priority, at least in my world. I will be going back to volunteer again and again until I happily get a chance to great a newcomer and announce "this is the smallest we've ever been, our work really makes a difference."
I miss you. I love you. Keep a watch out for me.
Love,
Ashley
Today I worked at the local soup kitchen. I have been wanting to make good use of my free time during the week AND do something that bettered the local community. Ok, so I tried the Boys and Girls Club first, but they are harder to volunteer for than getting a Jonas brother to give up his purity ring. I was dismayed, I love to work and hang with kids of all ages, but after my experience at the Soup Kitchen, I don't think I was ever meant for the Boys and Girls Club.
On Wednesday, I made my way down to the Catholic Charities Soup Kitchen (located right in the heart of downtown Colorado Springs!) and filled out paper work and signed up for my first ever shift. The next day, Thursday, I showed up early for my 10am - 2pm shift. I was immediately greeted by a number of people who were more than happy to help, playful, and welcoming. I was new and feeling nervous simply because I didn't want to make things difficult for the veteran workers and volunteers while I learned the ins and outs of the operation. Wow! And, what a large operation it was to behold. I was impressed by the magnitude of the kitchen, the systems in place for maximum efficiency, and the large number of people working / running around. I was depressed by the fact that the Soup Kitchen needed to be that large in the first place. Colorado Springs, overall, is a fairly affluent city and seeing the constant large number of people come in the door and get in line, for what was most likely their only meal of the day, was upsetting to me. Nonetheless, I was happy to be helping and kept my thoughts and concerns about local and national society to myself and worked diligently with a smile on the whole time.
My job was to take, well actually to "run," the freshly cleaned dishes, cups, bowls, dessert plates, spoons (forks and knives aren't allowed...they're weapons in waiting) and tray back out to where the servers can re-use them for the next patron. I went home soaked from sweat, clean dishwater, and surprise upright mugs of water. I made a few friends: Merle, Charles, Greg, and Tom...oh! and "big chef" as I secretly called him...never did catch his name. Whoops!I Promise to learn it next week.
I am looking forward to going back next week. it is my hope that I get to know the volunteer regulars and the Soup Kitchen patron regulars. I've long struggled with the issue of homelessness in this country on both the macro and the micro scales. When I see a person in the street, on the curb, in a park, etc. I instantly start thinking about a number of things. Who were you before this? What lead you here? What have you tried to resolve your situation? What is it you really need / want? Where is your family? Friends? Did you lead yourself here? Did society fail you? Forget you? What are your days like? What do you think of me? I'm never sure of my own emotions or convictions in that singular moment where you unexpectedly meet someone you've had such strong convictions about when not faced with that very human face.
The one thing that I was the least prepared for was the number of children, young families, and veterans. Stereotypically in our society (film, television, mass culture etc) homeless folks are portrayed as some ratty, lazy, drunkard bum. I won't claim to be exempt from having any stereotype image in my head, but I am far from out of touch with reality. Or so I thought. Social injustice takes on many forms; whenever children are involved it immediately take top priority, at least in my world. I will be going back to volunteer again and again until I happily get a chance to great a newcomer and announce "this is the smallest we've ever been, our work really makes a difference."
I miss you. I love you. Keep a watch out for me.
Love,
Ashley
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